Only thoughts which are aimed at the goodness of all will erase the boundaries we isolate ourselves by our judgement, opinions and sense of right and wrong…

…Are you hearing that lonely laughter as the lights go out on you?

Are you getting that sinking feeling as the truth slips into view?

But if you care, don’t run away

Your freedom’s inside your head….

…Are you sitting on a tiny island as the tide rolls in on you?

Are you getting that sinking feeling as it all comes home to you?

…Picture the wings that take you home…home to the Love you need

…That’s what you need…

– THE MOODY BLUES: “ISLAND”

Luckily, learning to embrace oneself is a necessary part of the reversal process to embracing others. =)

Ciao for now,

Jane

THE EGO ASKS:

“How can I make this situation fulfil my needs  and desires now or in the future?”

THE EGO-LESS ASKS:

“How can I respond to the needs of this situation, of this moment?“

Our human Ego is an interesting creature. It often clouds the beauty of our essence…until the day we learn to gradually differentiate from it and see who we truly are. Used in everyday terms, ‘ego’ often is associated with pride, over-confidence and self-importance which seems real to the egotist, but appears delusional to the observer. Have you realised, for some reason, being ‘egotistic’ only ever seems to apply to other people but we jump immediately to our own defenses when we are accused? Why?! The fact is, we all have egos…but why don’t we realise it? Because to us, it is completely real. And that’s the catch haha. We often attach ourselves to our feelings, thoughts, careers, possessions etc, thinking they are what make us who we are. All these delusional attachments of identity are what makes up our Ego. In the human dimension, the Ego will always be there so there isn’t any point resisting its existence. In fact, once understood, we can use it as appropriate when situations call for it to!

Most people function day to day like a mini solar system and they are the Sun. I will readily put my hand up for that statement. Aren’t we are all ‘guilty’ prior to being aware? I am sure you can relate to the extreme case of the self-absorbed individual who only ever talk about themselves…sort of like if you tried to keep a mental tally of the number of times you hear ‘I’, ‘me’, ‘my’, you know you’ll be reaching for some Aspirin pretty damn quickly…

Sometimes, consciously observing conversations can be really fun. If you can temporarily step outside the conversation so that you aren’t caught up in the midst of it, you may be surprised at what you hear. And I can assure you, it won’t just be your voice! Try it as a little social experiment and see what you absorb.

Sure, there are times we want a shoulder to lean on, an honest opinion etc. However, more often than not, we become extremely irritated when things don’t work out the way we want them to…we say to ourselves:

• Why couldn’t she/he have said that?
• Why couldn’t they have behaved/responded differently?

In the perfect world of our own that lies in our heads….maybe things will revolve our way. But we share this planet with 6 billion others. Besides, burderning our own hearts with blame is not the way to love others because in those instances, we’ve closed our own doors of love and compassion. In many cases, the desire to be loved and be happy are probably what lies deepest it all of our hearts. Yet the more we want it, the less we get. Think of all the ways people go about wanting recognition at work, all the ways men and women go about seeking attention from their partners and all the ways children rebel against their parents etc etc….If we peel away the ‘ugliness’ of it all,  the underlying sentiment is simply the innocent desire to be loved and be happy. However, the more we go around acquiring external means to fulfill ourselves the more we forget that the greatest Love and Happiness are already within us…just sleeping. =)

If we can let go of those ‘externalities’, it will become much easier to identify how we can serve every situation from one moment to the next, instead of wanting each situation to serve us!

Most people do not equate ‘Yielding’ with ‘Power’.

The concept of ‘Power’ itself is usually identified with something tangible and solid form…ie something that can be immediately picked up by our senses. For example:

• Vast recognition and fame
• The loud and definitive voice of ‘authority’
• Dominating behaviours

What other images come to your mind?

Thing is, whilst this concept isn’t necessarily wrong, there is an alternative view I’d like you to consider…where the practice of cultivating a Yielding nature can be a doorway for you towards greater power in life. How can this be? Hold that thought for a moment and let me explain:

…When was the last time you were by the sea? If it’s been a while, close your eyes now and just imagine for a moment…

Majestic headlands overlooking a vast golden-velvet horizon accompanied by lush of gentle waves lapping the shores as you feel the brush of that fresh sea breeze against your face…Have you ever thought about what gave life to those headlands and the very land you are standing on? Those very gentle waves and breeze you’ve just envisioned have somehow managed to erode and reshape these solid landforms over millions of years!

Another example: Consider grass blades yielding to the might of hurricane wind forces compared to a rigid fence. Both are rooted to the Earth, which is less destructable?

…And so Mother Nature teaches us…=)

*****

‘Yielding’ does not come from a place of passivity, but rather a place of greater purpose. It is a clear choice to:

Show PATIENCE to those who are yet to become aware (and hence appear to be ‘ignorant’)

Shine AWARENESS on those whose conscious are beginning to flower

Show COMPASSION to those who are somehow suffering because they cannot yet see through their struggles as challenges and gifts

Give LOVE without the boundaries of judgement and conditions set by your own perceptions

*****

Besides, aren’t these the attributes we hold ideal and look up to? =)

Alot of people mistake kindness for weakness. In some cases, it can be. However, if it is a clear choice you have made, then it is grounded from a place of power. What manifests on the exterior may appear similar and often misinterpreted by those around you…but only you know the difference. And the difference is a world apart!

So we begin with ourselves…the Art of Yielding is the practice of accumulating power within ourselves, so that we can ultimately give back to this world and those around us for the better. It is vastly different to the desire to accumulate transient power in order to be recognised as ‘powerful.’ If this were the case, then that power would be as fleeting as the opinions we permit ourselves to be attached to!

Peace & Love,

Jane

‘Yielding’ in the context of interpersonal situations and relationships (whether social, familial, or professional) is a notion that is VASTLY misunderstood. Thing is, it is more than just a behavioural response. When acted upon habitually, it is a principle that I honestly believe cultivates and builds inner character and strength. I’ll explain over these 2 posts but first, let’s start with the masses…

The common mis-associations people have with ‘yielding’ usually lies in one of the following shades:

• Weakness
• Powerlessness
• Somewhat of a ‘feminine’ quality
• Non-assertive
• Submissive

…and a whole barrage of these other negative connotations…won’t you agree? Type ‘yield’ into an online dictionary or look it up in the Oxford Dictionary and see what you get.

Thing is, when we look around at our social conditioning, I believe the concept of ‘individualism’ (amongst many other factors), is part of its cause. Many people seem to think being an individual is all about:

• Being able to formulate your own ‘opinions’
• Being able to show assertive character
• Being proactive
• Being confident

..etc etc. And you know what? They are not wrong! However, despite these notions being generally agreed, it gets pretty interesting when you see the same concept being applied by different people! So based on that, then it is nothing more than a degree of understanding and the perception held by an individual at that point in time.

Opinions are not borne out of a textbook, the media or someone else’s experience. Assertive behaviour, proactivity and confidence does NOT EQUATE to having to FEEL like one must display some sort dominant presence.

The obsession with carrying a facade of these qualities usually results in creating exactly what you don’t want! For example, many people long to be recognised, and respected… but often can’t be stuffed to lift finger to earn it. What happens instead? You can fall into your own claustrophobic trap of Inaction by breathing WAY too much hot air! Luckily, all can be reversed the moment you make up your mind. =)

Speak in the next post!