THE EGO ASKS:
“How can I make this situation fulfil my needs and desires now or in the future?”
THE EGO-LESS ASKS:
“How can I respond to the needs of this situation, of this moment?“
Our human Ego is an interesting creature. It often clouds the beauty of our essence…until the day we learn to gradually differentiate from it and see who we truly are. Used in everyday terms, ‘ego’ often is associated with pride, over-confidence and self-importance which seems real to the egotist, but appears delusional to the observer. Have you realised, for some reason, being ‘egotistic’ only ever seems to apply to other people but we jump immediately to our own defenses when we are accused? Why?! The fact is, we all have egos…but why don’t we realise it? Because to us, it is completely real. And that’s the catch haha. We often attach ourselves to our feelings, thoughts, careers, possessions etc, thinking they are what make us who we are. All these delusional attachments of identity are what makes up our Ego. In the human dimension, the Ego will always be there so there isn’t any point resisting its existence. In fact, once understood, we can use it as appropriate when situations call for it to!
Most people function day to day like a mini solar system and they are the Sun. I will readily put my hand up for that statement. Aren’t we are all ‘guilty’ prior to being aware? I am sure you can relate to the extreme case of the self-absorbed individual who only ever talk about themselves…sort of like if you tried to keep a mental tally of the number of times you hear ‘I’, ‘me’, ‘my’, you know you’ll be reaching for some Aspirin pretty damn quickly…
Sometimes, consciously observing conversations can be really fun. If you can temporarily step outside the conversation so that you aren’t caught up in the midst of it, you may be surprised at what you hear. And I can assure you, it won’t just be your voice! Try it as a little social experiment and see what you absorb.
Sure, there are times we want a shoulder to lean on, an honest opinion etc. However, more often than not, we become extremely irritated when things don’t work out the way we want them to…we say to ourselves:
- Why couldn’t she/he have said that?
- Why couldn’t they have behaved/responded differently?
In the perfect world of our own that lies in our heads….maybe things will revolve our way. But we share this planet with 6 billion others. Besides, burderning our own hearts with blame is not the way to love others because in those instances, we’ve closed our own doors of love and compassion. In many cases, the desire to be loved and be happy are probably what lies deepest it all of our hearts. Yet the more we want it, the less we get. Think of all the ways people go about wanting recognition at work, all the ways men and women go about seeking attention from their partners and all the ways children rebel against their parents etc etc….If we peel away the ‘ugliness’ of it all, the underlying sentiment is simply the innocent desire to be loved and be happy. However, the more we go around acquiring external means to fulfill ourselves the more we forget that the greatest Love and Happiness are already within us…just sleeping. =)
If we can let go of those ‘externalities’, it will become much easier to identify how we can serve every situation from one moment to the next, instead of wanting each situation to serve us!
