…Are you hearing that lonely laughter as the lights go out on you?

Are you getting that sinking feeling as the truth slips into view?

But if you care, don’t run away

Your freedom’s inside your head….

…Are you sitting on a tiny island as the tide rolls in on you?

Are you getting that sinking feeling as it all comes home to you?

…Picture the wings that take you home…home to the Love you need

…That’s what you need…

– THE MOODY BLUES: “ISLAND”

Luckily, learning to embrace oneself is a necessary part of the reversal process to embracing others. =)

Ciao for now,

Jane

“How can I make this situation fulfil my needs  and desires now or in the future?”

THE EGO-LESS ASKS:

“How can I respond to the needs of this situation, of this moment?“

Our human Ego is an interesting creature. It often clouds the beauty of our essence…until the day we learn to gradually differentiate from it and see who we truly are. Used in everyday terms, ‘ego’ often is associated with pride, over-confidence and self-importance which seems real to the egotist, but appears delusional to the observer. Have you realised, for some reason, being ‘egotistic’ only ever seems to apply to other people but we jump immediately to our own defenses when we are accused? Why?! The fact is, we all have egos…but why don’t we realise it? Because to us, it is completely real. And that’s the catch haha. We often attach ourselves to our feelings, thoughts, careers, possessions etc, thinking they are what make us who we are. All these delusional attachments of identity are what makes up our Ego. In the human dimension, the Ego will always be there so there isn’t any point resisting its existence. In fact, once understood, we can use it as appropriate when situations call for it to!

Most people function day to day like a mini solar system and they are the Sun. I will readily put my hand up for that statement. Aren’t we are all ‘guilty’ prior to being aware? I am sure you can relate to the extreme case of the self-absorbed individual who only ever talk about themselves…sort of like if you tried to keep a mental tally of the number of times you hear ‘I’, ‘me’, ‘my’, you know you’ll be reaching for some Aspirin pretty damn quickly…

Sometimes, consciously observing conversations can be really fun. If you can temporarily step outside the conversation so that you aren’t caught up in the midst of it, you may be surprised at what you hear. And I can assure you, it won’t just be your voice! Try it as a little social experiment and see what you absorb.

Sure, there are times we want a shoulder to lean on, an honest opinion etc. However, more often than not, we become extremely irritated when things don’t work out the way we want them to…we say to ourselves:

• Why couldn’t she/he have said that?
• Why couldn’t they have behaved/responded differently?

In the perfect world of our own that lies in our heads….maybe things will revolve our way. But we share this planet with 6 billion others. Besides, burderning our own hearts with blame is not the way to love others because in those instances, we’ve closed our own doors of love and compassion. In many cases, the desire to be loved and be happy are probably what lies deepest it all of our hearts. Yet the more we want it, the less we get. Think of all the ways people go about wanting recognition at work, all the ways men and women go about seeking attention from their partners and all the ways children rebel against their parents etc etc….If we peel away the ‘ugliness’ of it all,  the underlying sentiment is simply the innocent desire to be loved and be happy. However, the more we go around acquiring external means to fulfill ourselves the more we forget that the greatest Love and Happiness are already within us…just sleeping. =)

If we can let go of those ‘externalities’, it will become much easier to identify how we can serve every situation from one moment to the next, instead of wanting each situation to serve us!

The concept of ‘Power’ itself is usually identified with something tangible and solid form…ie something that can be immediately picked up by our senses. For example:

• Vast recognition and fame
• The loud and definitive voice of ‘authority’
• Dominating behaviours

What other images come to your mind?

Thing is, whilst this concept isn’t necessarily wrong, there is an alternative view I’d like you to consider…where the practice of cultivating a Yielding nature can be a doorway for you towards greater power in life. How can this be? Hold that thought for a moment and let me explain:

…When was the last time you were by the sea? If it’s been a while, close your eyes now and just imagine for a moment…

Majestic headlands overlooking a vast golden-velvet horizon accompanied by lush of gentle waves lapping the shores as you feel the brush of that fresh sea breeze against your face…Have you ever thought about what gave life to those headlands and the very land you are standing on? Those very gentle waves and breeze you’ve just envisioned have somehow managed to erode and reshape these solid landforms over millions of years!

Another example: Consider grass blades yielding to the might of hurricane wind forces compared to a rigid fence. Both are rooted to the Earth, which is less destructable?

…And so Mother Nature teaches us…=)

*****

‘Yielding’ does not come from a place of passivity, but rather a place of greater purpose. It is a clear choice to:

Show PATIENCE to those who are yet to become aware (and hence appear to be ‘ignorant’)

Shine AWARENESS on those whose conscious are beginning to flower

Show COMPASSION to those who are somehow suffering because they cannot yet see through their struggles as challenges and gifts

Give LOVE without the boundaries of judgement and conditions set by your own perceptions

*****

Besides, aren’t these the attributes we hold ideal and look up to? =)

Alot of people mistake kindness for weakness. In some cases, it can be. However, if it is a clear choice you have made, then it is grounded from a place of power. What manifests on the exterior may appear similar and often misinterpreted by those around you…but only you know the difference. And the difference is a world apart!

So we begin with ourselves…the Art of Yielding is the practice of accumulating power within ourselves, so that we can ultimately give back to this world and those around us for the better. It is vastly different to the desire to accumulate transient power in order to be recognised as ‘powerful.’ If this were the case, then that power would be as fleeting as the opinions we permit ourselves to be attached to!

Peace & Love,

Jane

The common mis-associations people have with ‘yielding’ usually lies in one of the following shades:

• Weakness
• Powerlessness
• Somewhat of a ‘feminine’ quality
• Non-assertive
• Submissive

…and a whole barrage of these other negative connotations…won’t you agree? Type ‘yield’ into an online dictionary or look it up in the Oxford Dictionary and see what you get.

Thing is, when we look around at our social conditioning, I believe the concept of ‘individualism’ (amongst many other factors), is part of its cause. Many people seem to think being an individual is all about:

• Being able to formulate your own ‘opinions’
• Being able to show assertive character
• Being proactive
• Being confident

..etc etc. And you know what? They are not wrong! However, despite these notions being generally agreed, it gets pretty interesting when you see the same concept being applied by different people! So based on that, then it is nothing more than a degree of understanding and the perception held by an individual at that point in time.

Opinions are not borne out of a textbook, the media or someone else’s experience. Assertive behaviour, proactivity and confidence does NOT EQUATE to having to FEEL like one must display some sort dominant presence.

The obsession with carrying a facade of these qualities usually results in creating exactly what you don’t want! For example, many people long to be recognised, and respected… but often can’t be stuffed to lift finger to earn it. What happens instead? You can fall into your own claustrophobic trap of Inaction by breathing WAY too much hot air! Luckily, all can be reversed the moment you make up your mind. =)

Speak in the next post!

A harmless comment or suggestion for improvement is somehow misconstrued by the receiver as harsh criticism…

• Oh I stuffed up…
• I’m no good…
• They must be really hate me and think i’m an idiot…
• They must think I’m dumb…
• I’m not loved…

Isn’t that the shortest range of Chinese Whispers ever??!

Whether the observer bares any ill will or not, how we receive it is entirely our choosing. I’m not suggesting we then stomp on wearing a cloak of defensive pride. Much better to accept our mistakes and move on to improve for the better. However, take the ‘I’m crap’ bit out of the equation because if you turn back and look again, chances are…it was never really there!

Errors are learning curves and gifts from the Universe to build strength and wisdom. To that end, don’t be afraid to:

Making a mistake – failure is the mother of success

‘Ridiculed’ by your friends – it’s not personal!

‘Ridiculed’ by your loved ones – they want the best for you…tough love may not be pleasant to the senses but it sure is pure!

‘Ridiculed’ by even your mentor – they bring out the best in you by challenging you…treat it as a that and every opportunity to grow.

Last month, a lady walked into our store to order her medicines. She strode in fairly briskly with a smile and brought in with her an open, chirpy energy. I quickly learned she was a regular by the multiple greetings our staff gave her by her first name. When I handed her medicines to ring up at the till, still chatting away, these things were also apparent:

• Her skin was a dark grey colour (head to toe)
• The whites of her eyes were very yellow
• She was very underweight

And yet…

• Her eyes were bright
• Her tone was chirpy
• She had a slight bounce in her step

So this woman was living with an insidious cancer and her liver was failing. She has heard far too many sympathies and no doubt, the heartache is at times overwhelming. People talk and comment. But what this woman faces every moment is a choice to live and be fulfilled whereas the average person takes living for granted…do we not?

Click here to view the embedded video.

It’s a LITTLE different when the majority of us have our faces/image to lose VS those who have their LIFE to lose isn’t it? I cannot fathom what it really means to live with cancer but I can fathom that happiness and joy is something of our own personal creation. It is neither dependent on some time and place out there to be reached, nor  can it be handed to us by someone else!

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To your chosen paths of happiness & joy,

PS. If you haven’t read his book ‘The Last Lecture’, I can highly recommend it. There are always those in more desperate and less fortunate circumstances than ourselves. So let their stories and experiences serve as an honest source of motivation and a firm reminder to charge through our own excuses and become creators of our own joy and successes in our lives. =) Share this with those you care for and we’ll speak soon. Ciao for now!

Part II focused on the importance of consciously creating the right environmental influence for ourselves …to cloak our minds with the richness of spirit and experiences true mentors can bring into our lives, and as a by-product, our businesses.  And why do I say that business success is a by-product? Because the most difficult thing to overcome is hands-down…ourselves!

So here in this last post, it’s time to talk about the ‘mentor’ part of the equation. The Latin root of the word means a ‘wise advisor’, an essence that has somewhat been lost today. And what characteristics actually define a ‘wise advisor’? Well, that dear people I cannot give a definitive answer for. It’d be great to have a check list of all the characteristics and tick off each one….sort of like a standardised measure. But then the problem with anything ‘standard’ is that they are really anything BUT standard when you throw human perception into the mix. Here is an example of a list I found on a webpage pertaining to traits of a ‘good mentor’:

So let’s take the first dot point for example: what really defines a ‘good listener’? Ask 10 different people and you will receive 10 somewhat different responses. 1o points of view which are all perfectly valid. A ‘standardised’ trait? Hardly! Because when you zoom in on each characteristic and think about it, whatever you come up with can only lie within the realm of whatever summation your consciousness and awareness currently lies. As the spectrum of our experiences expand, the depth of understanding of each characteristic and beyond also increases. So don’t get TOO caught up in the theoretical analytics of such a list. Having said that, I do believe the list above does contains the essence of some great ideals for mentorship. =)

However, one thing for sure about great mentors is that their actions hold true to their values and words. From my personal observations of great mentors I have had in the past and in the present, there are 3 key things they have in order to help their students reach success:

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1. They have the necessary KNOWLEDGE and SKILL sets

2. They have a SYSTEM to teach and deliver the material

3. They are earnestly WILLING to pass on their knowledge and skills to you

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If any of these ingredients are missing, no matter how earnest a student you may be, ‘the gold’ (if you will), will never be passed on to you. If a teacher had great knowledge but lacked a systemised method to teach, chances are the knowledge will be lost in translation (even if they really wanted to pass on their true experiences!) – a case of ‘have’ but ‘don’t know how’. And if the teacher HAD the knowledge, skills and system but didn’t truly want to GIVE away these things to the world (for whatever reason), then quite frankly – the doors were never open in the first place!

In my personal experiences, the few mentors I have been so blessed to come by all possess a way of being that is just simply so in tune with who they are and this natural world they are a part of, that success is simply an inevitable outcome in whatever industry they may be in… I think this is where language may become a bit of a barrier so I’m going to show you an example instead. =) This video from the blog site of one of my online business mentors – Jonathan Budd, has been one of the most powerful online marketing training videos I’ve come across to date, so I really would like to share it here, and perhaps you may get a sense of the ‘alignment’ I’m speaking about. I won’t spoil it and let you decide. Let me know your  thoughts after. =D  Here’s the link.

More info on his online training system can be found on the Key Resources page.

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Keep Rockin’ & Growing!

PS. You know, I cannot imagine what road I’d be travelling on without the guidance of those who have made it before me…Who has been an influential mentor in your life? Oh and please share this around if it’s been at all helpful! Or better yet, give back thanks and love to your mentors who has been instrumental in your life so far. They would appreciate it! =)

In this Part, I really want to highlight the utter UTTER significance of having the right kind of influence around you when you have chosen to set yourself apart from 99% of the crowd and become a tenacious student of true success. However…you see, being a tenacious student is only one half of the equation. If you want to learn any thing true in life, you need a true mentor and/or mentoring team, because as a student, you want to soak in the right teachings to GUIDE you towards success in the industry, especially if you are new and have no previous knowledge about it!

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In essence, TRUE MENTORS are in reality, WISE TEACHERS. In fact, they give a lot more than just sound business advice, but really – LIFE in general.

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To illustrate the sheer importance of having the right environmental influence around you, take a look at this well-known little story below about the childhood of a famous Chinese philosopher, Mencius =) (The story begins at around the 2 min mark)

Click here to view the embedded video.

The simplest things always seem to contain the most profound messages applicable to our daily lives don’t they? I went rather giddy when I found this little clip =D. The story is more quoted to illustrate a mother’s dedication and love for her child – and do whatever it takes to ensure the right conditions are available for him to truly grow. And in the context of seeking mentorship, the same principle applies. Not only are you a tenacious sponge-of-a-student, but also a seeker of true information in order to build a steadfast foundation for your business and success in life. This is how you can be dually responsible for your own learning and success.

When you open up your listening and put your heart out there, you will really be amazed at what information can come your way. (And I can testify!)

However,  your willingness to be open must come first. Otherwise even if great mentors did present to you, the opportunity would just fly straight past!

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Yours in Tenacity & Growth,

The next 3 posts will be one of the most important messages to consider and soak in. If you are down right serious about freeing up your life, and will accept no outcome other than success in your business, then I say tune in your listening right here. =)

I don’t want to harp on about the significance of having a mentor for your business, because we all acknowledge that fact. However, what I intend to highlight are some of the mindset principles that underpin a true mentor/mentee relationship, because most people out there (mentors and mentees included) are not fully aware of this. However,  if you are starting out on a new online business venture or wanting some direction from a trustworthy, authentic source, then having this awareness can honestly save yourself a lot of time and money avoiding roundabouts and detours.

IN READINESS TO LEARN…

Whether you are a newbie to the internet business or someone with previous experiences, seeking mentorship as a mentee requires quite a bit of mental discipline! Starting out on a clean slate means exactly that…have you ever heard of the “Zen in a Teacup Story”? If not, then here it is below…it’s a brief English version I found on YouTube, albeit not the best quality! But for the purposes of this, it’ll suffice…beats reading boring text. =)

Click here to view the embedded video.

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So as a mentee, your DESIRE to grow, develop and have NOTHING stand in the way of your own success has EVERYTHING to do with how much wealth you will manifest. It this  TENACIOUS SPIRIT of pursuit that NOBODY can take away from you…UNLESS… you ALLOW them to.

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In reality, this is no easy task. There are millions of voices from every direction battering at your conscience every single day. What your friends say, your family say, what social ‘norms’ expects out of you. Your tenacity is put on trial every single minute of the day. And guess what? They are NEVER going to go away. But then guess what? The strength of your INNER VOICE never goes away either. =)  So you just have to work on amplifying that and drown out the rest.

Your inner voice is not the one that simply vocalises verbally but the one that calls you to act in alignment with your goals and dreams.

Our businesses will grow as we grow. Every piece of knowledge, skill and insight you gain will inevitably contribute to the value of your business. However, if you really want to learn and dominate in any field, don’t do what 99% of people are doing when they start as ‘students’ – jump straight to all sorts of conclusions and expectations from Day 1!

So here’s a question to you before we get on to Part II:

WHAT IS YOUR INNER VOICE CALLING FOR YOU TO DO OR ACHIEVE? =)

Let me know =). Leave me a msg below or simply enter your details here:

I’ll be back in the next post on the importance of choosing the right mentor. Considering the fiercely competitive nature of the online business industry, you want to minimise time and dollar wastage on being pulled by 50 different ‘gurus’ that will simply leave you stuck!

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